It's not even the end of the month yet, and we are already emotionally and physically ready to give IVF another shot. We recently met with our Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) to discuss the first cycle of IVF and what likely went wrong. I was on the maximum protocol--as much medication as possible (to improve ovarian reserve and for egg retrieval) for as long as possible. Our RE said there is nothing that we could do differently in a future IVF cycle that will likely change the outcome. My eggs have been destroyed by endometriosis--I have a small supply of poor quality eggs.
Our only shot at having our own biological child is to go through IVF again, but with donor eggs. I have accepted this 100%, knowing that our child won't have any of my genes. My uterus is still healthy enough to carry, and the baby would be half of Andrew and a biological sibling for Chase. And, our chances of pregnancy increase to 75-80%! This is the direction we hope to move in.
After my initial diagnosis of stage III-IV endometriosis in 2011, I didn't really give it much thought. I knew that infertility was a possibility, but it wasn't something that weighed on me constantly, especially since we were able to get pregnant twice after that diagnosis. But now, after trying to conceive again for 20 months and knowing that I now have stage IV endometriosis, I think about it every single day. Not necessarily because of the pain, cramping, and bleeding that comes along with it, but because it has truly affected my life--and Andrew's, too.
Sometimes I wish I knew why I have severe endometriosis. Sometimes I wish I could say that the poor choices I made in my younger years caused it, just so I would have something to blame it on. Instead, I have this disease that no one knows the cause of, which means that they can't find a cure. Instead, I have a disease for no known reason, and it has taken away my choice, my right, to have more children. People ask us all the time "are you ready for number two?" meaning another child. Yes, we are ready! If it were up to me, we would have five more. But, it's not up to me, it's not up to us. We no longer have the choice.
My endometriosis has attacked my abdominal cavity and reproductive system. I have organs that are glued together from the scar tissue and adhesions from endometriosis. My fallopian tubes have been crumpled and blocked from the disease. I have reoccurring ovarian cysts. And, worst of all, my egg supply and quality have been destroyed. Not only has the disease left me with regular discomfort and pain, but it has stripped our hopes of growing our family.
We now have to pay thousands and thousands of dollars just to TRY to have another baby--whether it's through an assistive reproductive technology or through adoption (which we are considering). As I mentioned above, we are now hoping to go through a second round of IVF, but with quality donor eggs. Donors are young with a high AMH (indicating quality eggs), and they are thoroughly screened (i.e. communicable diseases, family medical history, tobacco use, etc.). We will be able to choose our donor based on those results as well as physical appearance. We have decided to choose an anonymous donor so there will never be any emotional issues between me and the donor.
We've learned that IVF with donor eggs is actually more expensive than IVF with my own eggs. Luckily we have three options with donor eggs:
1) We choose a donor and keep all of her eggs (typically, 15-20 eggs are retrieved from quality donors). This choice is ideal to give us the best chance for pregnancy during this cycle and have eggs left over to freeze for a future cycle. However, this choice costs around $35,000.
2a) We can also choose a donor and keep half of her eggs. So, where do the other half go? Well, we can choose to share/split the eggs with another couple. This means that we would only get 7-10 eggs, and the other couple would get the same. This decreases our chance of having embryos left over for a future cycle. We would never meet the other couple, but we would have to choose the same donor. This could take months to a year before we find another couple that would just so happen to choose the exact same donor as us. This option costs around $25,000.
2b) Or, we can choose to share/split the donor's eggs with our fertility center. This means that we would again only get 7-10 eggs, and the fertility center would get the same amount to save for future use. We wouldn't have to wait for them to choose the same donor, so it would be a much quicker process. This option also costs around $25,000.
We have chosen the latter option. We would love to have more eggs, which increases our chances of having a future cycle (more babies!), but financially, the split/share option is more realistic. However, we are still struggling to find a way to make this happen since we drained most of our savings with the first cycle (our insurance does not cover infertility treatments).
Our families have graciously organized an online fundraiser (with YouCaring) for us in an effort to pay for a second cycle: http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/a-sibling-for-chase-walker/356677 We ask that you share our blog and YouCaring links with your friends and family. We wholeheartedly thank those that do share our links as it raises awareness about endometriosis and infertility. And, we can't thank our generous supporters enough for their donations--it means the world to us, and we will be happy to pay it forward some day soon.
No comments:
Post a Comment