Waiting three a half weeks for news that could potentially change your life feels more like three and half years. This has definitely been the longest and most difficult wait for us thus far. After our blast report, when we found out that we only had one embryo make it, we were told that the CCS (chromosomal) testing would take 2-3 weeks to determine if our embryo is normal. Two weeks came, then three weeks, and still no news. At three weeks and five days we finally got the call.
We knew that if we got a call saying our embryo is normal, we would be able to move forward with a transfer (yay!). But, if we got a call saying that our only embryo is abnormal, then we would not have a transfer and we would be back to the beginning.
I was dreading this phone call. While I wanted to be optimistic, I was certain that this one embryo would come back aneuploidy (abnormal). My egg quality is shot, so it was really hard to stay positive about the whole thing. While the wait for the phone call was long and agonizing, I was ok that the call didn't come each day, because I just didn't want to hear the words that the embryo is abnormal.
Turns out, I didn't have to hear those words. My nurse called tonight after hours and shouted "It's normal!" I cried happy tears to her over the phone, and I couldn't wait to tell Andrew. We are both beyond happy, excited, joyful, you name it... And now we are thrilled to share the news with all of you! Our chromosomally normal, grade 5bb embryo will be transferred on December 7th. We can't wait!
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Friday, October 9, 2015
2nd blast report
One. Today's call from the lab has left us with one embryo. All of the other six embryos stopped developing, so we are left with the one grade 5bb embryo that we learned about yesterday. We don't know why the embryos stopped developing, but we guess that it is due to my poor egg quality.
While we are happy to have an embryo, we are devastated that this entire cycle, costing more than $30,000, has left us with only one. Part of me hopes that this is a "Chase" embryo, meaning that it is strong and will make it through, but the other part of me doesn't want to hope for anything anymore because I am so tired of being let down.
Our one little embryo has been biopsied and will undergo genetic testing (did I mention that this test is costing us $7,000?!). If the test reveals that the embryo is abnormal (non viable), we will walk away from the IVF cycle without a single embryo to transfer. If it is normal, we will jump for joy and set a transfer date, likely in December, which is when my uterus will be ready. We will be in suspense for the next 2-3 weeks until the test results come back.
While we are happy to have an embryo, we are devastated that this entire cycle, costing more than $30,000, has left us with only one. Part of me hopes that this is a "Chase" embryo, meaning that it is strong and will make it through, but the other part of me doesn't want to hope for anything anymore because I am so tired of being let down.
Our one little embryo has been biopsied and will undergo genetic testing (did I mention that this test is costing us $7,000?!). If the test reveals that the embryo is abnormal (non viable), we will walk away from the IVF cycle without a single embryo to transfer. If it is normal, we will jump for joy and set a transfer date, likely in December, which is when my uterus will be ready. We will be in suspense for the next 2-3 weeks until the test results come back.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
1st blast report
This update is a tough one to write. I'm stuck in a whirlwind of emotions--sadness, anger, disappointment. But at the same time, I just feel numb.
We just got the call from the lab with the first blastocyst report. On day one, they were able to fertilize five eggs. Today, three of those embryos are stuck at cleavage, approximately day three of cell division, when they should be closer to day six. Chances are we will not be able to use those embryos. A fourth embryo is at the early blastocyst phase, which is just slightly behind schedule. The lab is going to grow this one out another day to see if it becomes a full blastocyst tomorrow.
The fifth embryo is currently our lucky one. It is a full blastocyst, grade 5bb. We are told this is good quality, but if you are really interested in learning about embryo grading, click here.
5 = hatching out of the shell
b = inner cell mass has several cells, loosely grouped
b = trophectoderm has few cells, forming a loose epithelium
On day two, the lab was able to fertilize two more embryos. Today, one embryo is at cleavage, a bit behind. The second embryo is a morula, which is at day four, when it should be closer to day five. They will continue to grow these two embryos out another day in hopes of them becoming full blastocysts.
It's amazing how quickly things change in this journey. One day we are beyond thrilled to have seven embryos. The next day, we are saddened by the news that we might only have one embryo make it to blastocyst. While we do have that one embryo, it still has to go through genetic testing. If the testing reveals that the embryo is abnormal, it won't be transferred--not by our choice, rather by the policy of the center and lab. We could walk out of this second round of IVF empty handed, just like the first. And truthfully, if CCRM and the Fertility Lab can't make it happen, I don't think that anyone can.
The lab will call us again tomorrow with another update. We hope to hear that several embryos finally made it to full blastocyst. But, best case scenario, only two will.
We just got the call from the lab with the first blastocyst report. On day one, they were able to fertilize five eggs. Today, three of those embryos are stuck at cleavage, approximately day three of cell division, when they should be closer to day six. Chances are we will not be able to use those embryos. A fourth embryo is at the early blastocyst phase, which is just slightly behind schedule. The lab is going to grow this one out another day to see if it becomes a full blastocyst tomorrow.
The fifth embryo is currently our lucky one. It is a full blastocyst, grade 5bb. We are told this is good quality, but if you are really interested in learning about embryo grading, click here.
5 = hatching out of the shell
b = inner cell mass has several cells, loosely grouped
b = trophectoderm has few cells, forming a loose epithelium
On day two, the lab was able to fertilize two more embryos. Today, one embryo is at cleavage, a bit behind. The second embryo is a morula, which is at day four, when it should be closer to day five. They will continue to grow these two embryos out another day in hopes of them becoming full blastocysts.
It's amazing how quickly things change in this journey. One day we are beyond thrilled to have seven embryos. The next day, we are saddened by the news that we might only have one embryo make it to blastocyst. While we do have that one embryo, it still has to go through genetic testing. If the testing reveals that the embryo is abnormal, it won't be transferred--not by our choice, rather by the policy of the center and lab. We could walk out of this second round of IVF empty handed, just like the first. And truthfully, if CCRM and the Fertility Lab can't make it happen, I don't think that anyone can.
The lab will call us again tomorrow with another update. We hope to hear that several embryos finally made it to full blastocyst. But, best case scenario, only two will.
Monday, October 5, 2015
Fertilization report #2
From our first fertilization report, we were ecstatic to learn that five out of six mature eggs fertilized. On Sunday we received the second fertilization report on the remaining four eggs. Three of those eggs became mature in the lab, and two of them were successfully fertilized. We now have seven embryos! This is incredible and more than we were expecting.
On Thursday and Friday of this week we will learn how many embryos from the first and second fertilization report make it to blastocyst. Then our little blasts will be biopsied and frozen until my body is ready for the transfer.
On a side note, our blog has reached 10,000 views! As always, thanks for the support!
On Thursday and Friday of this week we will learn how many embryos from the first and second fertilization report make it to blastocyst. Then our little blasts will be biopsied and frozen until my body is ready for the transfer.
On a side note, our blog has reached 10,000 views! As always, thanks for the support!
Saturday, October 3, 2015
Fertilization report
Months of preparation and we were finally ready for egg retrieval yesterday. Going into the retrieval, we knew that I had 11 follicles, but the number of eggs within those follicles could not be predetermined. So, I went in with my new pink socks (a thing among CCRM patients), ready for whatever was to happen.
When I woke up from the procedure, Andrew was there with a smile on his face. He already knew how many eggs were retrieved--10! That's a good number for me. Embryology came in to speak with us and confirmed that 10 eggs were retrieved, and that they would attempt to fertilize those eggs within a few hours.
This morning I received a call from the embryology team with the fertilization report. Of the 10 eggs retrieved, 6 were mature, and 5 of those mature eggs fertilized. Again, this is a good number for me (considering that in our first round of IVF we had 9 eggs retrieved, with 7 of those eggs mature, and only 3 eggs fertilized). So, it was good to hear that we have 5 embryos to work with. But, it was also good to hear that they were trying to grow the other 4 immature eggs out to maturity in the lab and would try to fertilize them today. We will get another call tomorrow with that fertilization report. That will be last call we get until next Thursday, which is when the embryos will hopefully reach blastocyst, and then all embryos will be genetically tested and frozen until my body is ready for the transfer.
When I woke up from the procedure, Andrew was there with a smile on his face. He already knew how many eggs were retrieved--10! That's a good number for me. Embryology came in to speak with us and confirmed that 10 eggs were retrieved, and that they would attempt to fertilize those eggs within a few hours.
This morning I received a call from the embryology team with the fertilization report. Of the 10 eggs retrieved, 6 were mature, and 5 of those mature eggs fertilized. Again, this is a good number for me (considering that in our first round of IVF we had 9 eggs retrieved, with 7 of those eggs mature, and only 3 eggs fertilized). So, it was good to hear that we have 5 embryos to work with. But, it was also good to hear that they were trying to grow the other 4 immature eggs out to maturity in the lab and would try to fertilize them today. We will get another call tomorrow with that fertilization report. That will be last call we get until next Thursday, which is when the embryos will hopefully reach blastocyst, and then all embryos will be genetically tested and frozen until my body is ready for the transfer.
Monday, September 28, 2015
Stimulation, round two
I've been "stimming" for over a week now. This means that I've been getting several injections each day, which stimulate my ovaries to produce follicles, which will hopefully have a mature egg once egg retrieval comes around. This is the second time we've been through this, so we knew what to expect--bloating, cramps, moodiness, headaches, sleep deprivation. The one thing we didn't expect--a prescription for Viagra. For me. That's right, I am now taking Viagra. Apparently, the Viagra helps the stimulation meds be more effective. I'm all for it if it's going to give us a baby.
After a few days on the "stims" I had a ultrasound and blood work to see how my ovaries are responding to the meds. That ultrasound found that I had only 8 follicles--6 on the left, 2 on the right. My right ovary has a large endometrioma, which is ovarian endometriosis in the form of a cyst. The endometrioma is preventing the ovary from cooperating and producing follicles. This leaves me with fewer than average follicles. We were disappointed, but we also know that, in the end, it only takes one.
The few and slow growing follicles prompted the Viagra prescription. By the second ultrasound, I had 10 follicles--8 on the left, 2 on the right. However, many of them were still slow growing. We only had three that were growing at an almost normal pace; the others lagging behind. At this time, the nurse said one of two things could happen. One being that the doctor could recommend retrieving the largest follicles at their appropriate time, which means that the smaller follicles will not be mature and cannot be fertilized (this would leave us with approximately three eggs). Or, the doctor could recommend stimming a bit longer to grow the smaller follicles more. However, in this case, we risk losing the biggest follicles and mature eggs, and stimming for too long can result in poorer quality eggs. We knew we wouldn't have an answer until the next ultrasound and blood work.
Today, I had my third ultrasound. I now have 11 follicles--8 on the left, 3 on the right. The growth patterns indicate that I will likely be ready to retrieve on Friday, and that we may only get 8 mature eggs from the 11 follicles.
While eight sounds like a great number, it's really low, relatively speaking. The attrition rate could knock us down to 1-2 embryos (just like the first round). Not every mature egg will fertilize, not every fertilized egg (or embryo) will make it to the blastocyst phase, not every blastocyst will be chromosomally normal.
Once the retrieval happens, we will learn within 24 hours how many eggs were retrieved, how many were mature, and how many fertilized. We will then have to wait five days to learn how many embryos grow to the blastocyst phase. The embryos that make it to that phase will then be genetically tested to "weed out" the non-viable embryos. We will have to wait 2-3 weeks to learn how many embryos we will have from this process for transfer. Once we know that number, we can start prepping my body for the transfer, which will unfortunately take another 6-9 weeks. We have been advised that our transfer will likely take place in December. It's going to be a long wait, but will hopefully be worth it. What a wonderful Christmas present it would be :)
After a few days on the "stims" I had a ultrasound and blood work to see how my ovaries are responding to the meds. That ultrasound found that I had only 8 follicles--6 on the left, 2 on the right. My right ovary has a large endometrioma, which is ovarian endometriosis in the form of a cyst. The endometrioma is preventing the ovary from cooperating and producing follicles. This leaves me with fewer than average follicles. We were disappointed, but we also know that, in the end, it only takes one.
The few and slow growing follicles prompted the Viagra prescription. By the second ultrasound, I had 10 follicles--8 on the left, 2 on the right. However, many of them were still slow growing. We only had three that were growing at an almost normal pace; the others lagging behind. At this time, the nurse said one of two things could happen. One being that the doctor could recommend retrieving the largest follicles at their appropriate time, which means that the smaller follicles will not be mature and cannot be fertilized (this would leave us with approximately three eggs). Or, the doctor could recommend stimming a bit longer to grow the smaller follicles more. However, in this case, we risk losing the biggest follicles and mature eggs, and stimming for too long can result in poorer quality eggs. We knew we wouldn't have an answer until the next ultrasound and blood work.
Today, I had my third ultrasound. I now have 11 follicles--8 on the left, 3 on the right. The growth patterns indicate that I will likely be ready to retrieve on Friday, and that we may only get 8 mature eggs from the 11 follicles.
While eight sounds like a great number, it's really low, relatively speaking. The attrition rate could knock us down to 1-2 embryos (just like the first round). Not every mature egg will fertilize, not every fertilized egg (or embryo) will make it to the blastocyst phase, not every blastocyst will be chromosomally normal.
Once the retrieval happens, we will learn within 24 hours how many eggs were retrieved, how many were mature, and how many fertilized. We will then have to wait five days to learn how many embryos grow to the blastocyst phase. The embryos that make it to that phase will then be genetically tested to "weed out" the non-viable embryos. We will have to wait 2-3 weeks to learn how many embryos we will have from this process for transfer. Once we know that number, we can start prepping my body for the transfer, which will unfortunately take another 6-9 weeks. We have been advised that our transfer will likely take place in December. It's going to be a long wait, but will hopefully be worth it. What a wonderful Christmas present it would be :)
Thursday, September 17, 2015
Moving forward, round two
This round of IVF feels so much different than the first, in many ways. We were so naive in the first round, thinking that all the work and money we put into it would give us a happy ending. But, on May 1st, Chase's second birthday, we found out that we were wrong. I think this is why I don't feel excited about this second round. We haven't even been celebrating the small steps and progress we've made in this second journey. We just want to get it over with.
"Get it over with." I know that sounds terrible, but the process is grueling. In the first cycle, I gained a lot of weight, I was emotional, and (Andrew would probably say) I was extra grumpy. It's a series of highs and lows. The medications and hormones are hard on the body, but are needed to retrieve the eggs and support a pregnancy.
"Get it over with." We have our eyes on the prize, as the saying goes. We are anxious to get through the brutal stimulation phase, the waiting-while-our-embryos-are-genetically-tested phase, and the transfer phase. We want to fast forward to the date when we will find out if this was a successful round of IVF.
So, where are we right now in the cycle? Well, after all the work up and testing and a surgery to correct a problem with my fallopian tubes, we are ready to rock and roll. Last week, I started on some priming medications, and yesterday an ultrasound and blood work found that we are ready to start the stimulation phase. For the next 2-3 weeks, we will be in IVF prison. I have several injections that need to be administered at very specific times during the day. Lupron has to be injected every 12 hours; right now we are on a 7am and 7pm schedule with that medication. Menopur has to be injected in the morning, Follistim has to be injected in the evening, and Dexamethasone has to be taken at bedtime. We either have to be home at the exact times that these meds are needed, or we have to take them with us wherever we go. The latter is challenging because some of the meds have to be refrigerated (and sanitary conditions are needed). Regardless, we are ready!
Those of you that donated to our online fundraiser helped us get to this second journey. All of the money raised was used to pay for the initial work up and testing as insurance didn't pay for it all. We applied for a grant, but were told that the committee won't meet until November or December of this year to determine if we are eligible. We were finally able to take out a substantial loan, but this loan does not cover the total costs. We are still fighting to pay out of pocket for the expenses while simultaneously making biweekly payments to the lender for the loan. We initially estimated this round to cost $30k, but we are already over that amount and we aren't done paying yet.
This is our final attempt to build our family. Financially, it has to be. By the end of this year, we will know if Chase will be an only child or if he will have siblings.
"Get it over with." I know that sounds terrible, but the process is grueling. In the first cycle, I gained a lot of weight, I was emotional, and (Andrew would probably say) I was extra grumpy. It's a series of highs and lows. The medications and hormones are hard on the body, but are needed to retrieve the eggs and support a pregnancy.
"Get it over with." We have our eyes on the prize, as the saying goes. We are anxious to get through the brutal stimulation phase, the waiting-while-our-embryos-are-genetically-tested phase, and the transfer phase. We want to fast forward to the date when we will find out if this was a successful round of IVF.
So, where are we right now in the cycle? Well, after all the work up and testing and a surgery to correct a problem with my fallopian tubes, we are ready to rock and roll. Last week, I started on some priming medications, and yesterday an ultrasound and blood work found that we are ready to start the stimulation phase. For the next 2-3 weeks, we will be in IVF prison. I have several injections that need to be administered at very specific times during the day. Lupron has to be injected every 12 hours; right now we are on a 7am and 7pm schedule with that medication. Menopur has to be injected in the morning, Follistim has to be injected in the evening, and Dexamethasone has to be taken at bedtime. We either have to be home at the exact times that these meds are needed, or we have to take them with us wherever we go. The latter is challenging because some of the meds have to be refrigerated (and sanitary conditions are needed). Regardless, we are ready!
Those of you that donated to our online fundraiser helped us get to this second journey. All of the money raised was used to pay for the initial work up and testing as insurance didn't pay for it all. We applied for a grant, but were told that the committee won't meet until November or December of this year to determine if we are eligible. We were finally able to take out a substantial loan, but this loan does not cover the total costs. We are still fighting to pay out of pocket for the expenses while simultaneously making biweekly payments to the lender for the loan. We initially estimated this round to cost $30k, but we are already over that amount and we aren't done paying yet.
This is our final attempt to build our family. Financially, it has to be. By the end of this year, we will know if Chase will be an only child or if he will have siblings.
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