Cautiously optimistic

Today is Saturday, the day of our embryo transfer, day 5 since the egg retrieval.  On days 1, 2, and 3 after the retrieval, we were updated on the status of our embryos.  On day 4, we did not get a status update because the incubator isn't opened on day 4.  So, our last update, on day 3, gave us hope as our three embryos were growing strong.  We knew that our Reproductive Endocrinologist would transfer two embryos as long as there were two that met the requirements for transfer.

Everything changed today.  In my last post, I included a picture of the embryo growth day-by-day, illustrating that the embryo should become a blastocyst on day 5.  The blastocysts are "graded" based on their morphology quality.  Both the "inner cell mass" (which forms the baby) and the "outer cell mass" (which forms the placenta) are graded.  A grade of AA is the best quality.  Today, two of our three embryos were graded as CC, which means they are not viable.  Only one embryo had a grade of AB, which is not perfect, but is still very good quality.  Here is a picture of our last remaining shot at this. This is our one and only embryo that made it to transfer day.

We started with 12 follicles, retrieved 9 eggs, and had 7 mature eggs.  Only three of those eggs fertilized normally, and now we are down to one good quality embryo.  One.

Today was a rough day for us.  We went in to our appointment expecting to transfer two embryos and have one left to freeze.  We weren't prepared for the news that only one embryo made it to the blastocyst phase.  It was like the wind was suddenly knocked out of us.

But, we did it--we had our one little strong embryo transferred today.  We are hoping for the best, but were told to be "cautiously optimistic."  I'm not quite sure how to feel.  Today should be an exciting day and we should be celebrating.  Rather, I am nervous and uneasy.  I will probably feel this way until our next appointment, which is our blood pregnancy test on April 27th.  Until then, we continue to live in suspense.